Ninjas and Pirates (with laser eyes)

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Ninjas and Pirates

The sweeter things in life

Aswell as music 'Forever In December' have an unhealthy interest in Ninjas and pirates. At least I do... I think Griff quite likes pirates ... anyway, Ninjas are THE SWEETEST things and it is a common known fact that they TOTALLY FLIP OUT for no reason (wait I have a reason- because they're BADASS). Ninjas dont take shit from ANYONE least of all pirates (the laser-eyed variety being their biggest enemys). Pirates? BUTT PIRATES more like. I fucking hate pirates! They're the dumbest breed of... anything and if you disagree you're WRONG!

Think this page has no relavence?

You're wrong! If you even slightly irritate these ninjas they'll search for you and KILL you. They kill people just cos' they think it's funny. My mate Dave down the pub reckons a ninja went in there and asked for some peanuts. Then apparently some IDIOT cleared his throat. This really PISSED OFF this ninja and he totally threw a ninja star at this fuck and decappitated him.

Pirates suck!
Pirates are the lowest form of scum. They think they can stop Ninjas with their crappy laser eyes? WRONG! Everyone knows a ninja would do a round-house on this fuck and then slice him and pull out his guts just because HE CAN. Pirates are so shitty they think McFly are hardcore punk. WRONG ASSHOLE. Ninjas totally know where it's at and everytime they kill one of these sorry ass pirates they wail on a bright red guitar.  Then loads of chicks in their underwear come out of NO-WHERE and have a party. Ninjas are so BADASS they give SATAN a boner! By the way, to the right is a picture of my mate Dave from down the pub showing off.

Pirates can be spotted from a mile off. If you see a guy in the street wearing an elaboratly big hat with the skull and cross-bones, a hook, a peg leg (preferably 2), a crappy beard and a parrot you're probably looking at a pirate. PROCEED WITH CAUTION. These guys might be shitty sea bums but they have laser eyes and they're totally crazy. Some pretend to be mad homeless people but I know this is a front. If you see any 'homeless' (yeah right... nice try asshole) person, you should approach from behind and bottle them over the head. This won't get you anywhere it'll just really piss them off which is funny.

Take a Closer Look...
Think this guys homeless? I took a closer look to prove that underneath every raggedy coat lies a dirty pirate.
See what I mean?

This is what happened when I got a bit closer to this asshole. I took a photo to prove it. DO NOT approach these malevolent scum. They will cut you if they get half the chance, or even worse they'll use they're laser eyes on you. DO NOT give these assholes your change! They're just trying to fund their space pirate-ship they'll use to conquer the ninja world 'Xenophobia'.

Woah! What the fuck?!

The hell is this crazy fuck doing?! See what I mean? This crazy asshole has totally lost it and he seems to be trying some sort of flying yoga shit on me!

Hail to the ninja

Thanks to our local ninja, the streets are that bit safer from the scum that walks amongst us. Thank you ninjas!


If you disagree with any of the above statements. You're wrong.